Why do couples seek counselling?
Most couples have ups and downs in their relationship. However when the bad times outweigh the good times it can feel unbearable, which leads to stress, frustration, sadness and resentment. Many people in an unhappy relationship spend a lot of time telling their partners what is wrong with them or their behaviour and how they’d like them to change. So when your relationship is not thriving, this affects your emotional, physical health and well being.
Couples frequently come to therapy to improve their patterns of interaction. Often they are unskilled in their ability to deal successfully with their differences. Their exchanges are painful and the couples are unable to recover from fights or periods of withdrawal. They want support and nurturing that is not present or is insufficient. In my experience as a relationship therapist, I firmly believe it is essential to take time with the couple to identify the type of relationship they would like to create.
What to expect in a couples counselling session?
The main purpose of couples counselling is to put you and your significant other in a room with a neutral mediator to help you make sense of what’s going on. If you’re having trouble communicating with each other, then the counsellor is going to help guide you.
The couple counsellor’s responsibility is to the relationship and both of you will get equal time, attention and understanding. No relationship is ever entirely smooth sailing. Whatever trouble your relationship is in, and no matter how severely your relationship is being affected, almost all couples can benefit from couples counselling at some time in their relationship.
It’s important to note that couples counselling is not all rainbows and roses. It is not necessarily the counsellor’s job to save the relationship. Sometimes, the counselling is more about figuring out how to make a amicable split.
Emotion Coaching – is a communication strategy which supports those to self regulate and manage their stress responses. This is a particularly helpful approach to helping couples stay together, or to help with a more kind and gentle end to a relationship!